Having a plan... Or so you think

I took a week off last week to focus on Guarding Gold Street, but now I'm back to this blog with guns a-blazin'! This time with a topic that us seniors know all too well: what we're going to do when we graduate. I suppose that is, in fact, the entire point of this Senior Capstone class, is getting us to figure out exactly what we want our next step in life to be, since this is one of the great transitions of our lives. And I think it's fantastic that we all have so many options open to us. But it recently just hit me how overwhelming it can be to have too many possibilities.

Take for instance my personal situation. During the school year, I'll do as many auditions as possible, such as Disney and cruise ship auditions, I'll be going to SETC in the spring, and I'll be sending off my head shot and resume to as many casting directors as I possibly can in the coming months, especially to those in the areas that I'm looking at relocating to. Then, if nothing comes of any of those auditions, I have the choice to either move to LA and live with my parents for a while to find a job and save money (which is never a bad idea, and since I get along so well with my parents it would probably not be as horrible of a situation for me as others would consider it), or move to Washington DC to stay with my aunt and essentially do the same thing there. DC would be my number one choice of any of these routes, but then the obvious questions of money and moving come up.

Which begs the question: are any of these routes even viable?

When you have so many potential routes, it's nearly impossible to tell which one is actually right for you. Or if there's anything else waiting in the wings to make itself noticeable when the time is most opportune. I think we're all stuck right now in this awkward, limbo phase of waiting for audition season, waiting for news of anything, waiting to find out what our next step is. And instead of finding solace in all these potential roads, I'm just finding myself more and more overwhelmed by the fact that any one of these paths could be the right one for me, but I just can't know that right now. I suppose a lot of it is wanting to control my destiny, as cheesy as it sounds, but in many ways, that's exactly what is going on. This is just another constant reminder that we are not always in control of our lives. We have to learn to let go and live in the moment sometimes. This is something I think I'll always struggle with, but it's nice to know that life forces you to learn these lessons, whether you're ready to hear them and learn from them or not. Life doesn't wait for you to be ready. And that's both frightening and liberating.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm excited for the future. I'm excited to see where life takes me after I graduate. I just want to know what that future is. But I guess it's the waiting period that is more rewarding than the actual plan-making. It's in the waiting that you have all the fun =]

How Madeleine Had a Rude Awakening

Okay, it wasn't so much rude as it was utterly bewildering.

In BFA lately we've been over at the RTVF studio learning Acting for the Camera. And let me just tell you:

Acting for the camera is completely different.

You always hear the cliche lines that film acting is much subtler, smaller, more natural and that stage acting is bigger, theatrical and while still natural in that it retains the sense of truth in what you say, it's not necessarily how we would say it in every day life. And walking in to these 5 weeks with John and Bruce, we knew all that. We've heard that a lot. But hearing something in theory and understanding it, and then getting up and doing it literally and understanding it are two totally different things entirely.

We filmed some scenes from "Good Will Hunting" today, just for practice, to get a feel for framing and how rehearsing for scenes work and scoring for a film scene and all that jazz. They didn't expect us to memorize it since they literally handed it to us at the beginning of class. It was expected to be rough. And it was. I think we handled all the changes a little bit better than we thought we would, but that does not negate the fact that before we shot, we felt, collectively, totally lost. Everything, even down to the SCORING of a film scene is different, which was not something that we inherently could have picked up on. The way beats are marked out and the way the scene is constructed in that it has a "value" set on it at the beginning, and somewhere in that scene the value has to change to be the opposite at the end. So if a scene starts out positive in tone (usually with the protagonist), the scene has to end negative. And somewhere in that scene, there has to be a turning point where it is clear to said protagonist that things have changed for them.

This is not the way we think in theatre. We mark out beats, we play objectives, we may even have the "value" thing in common, but the structure of the scene, the way lines are delivered, the whole "bubble" concept that has to include the audience in stage, but must never include the camera in film, everything else is different.

I suppose this is all redundant. Like, "Come on, Madeleine, why didn't you know this before? Why is this such a big revelation to you? You just admitted you'd heard all that stuff before." Which I had. But like I said, doing it and hearing about it are totally different. I guess today was the first true day where those differences were made utterly clear to me.

The BAMF-iest Actresses to Ever BAMF

Can we just talk for a second about how awesome some of the incredible older actresses that we see in everything are? Maggie Smith, Julie Andrews, Angela Lansbury, Carol Burnett... These women are my heroes, and let me tell you why.

Have you seen Downton Abbey? That show is enough proof of Maggie Smith's incredible English snark and comedic timing, not to mention her performances in Harry Potter, A Room With A View, and Hook, but the real clincher about this woman is her strength. She was around 73 years old when she filmed Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, and do you wanna know what that woman was going through while filming? Breast cancer. Her second bout of it. Not only that, but her chemo gave her shingles, which caused all of her hair to fall out so she had to wear a wig. And that woman is so strong and resilient, SHE SHOWED UP TO WORK DESPITE THE PAIN. She also happened to kick cancer's ass after that. For the second time. One word to describe that kind of unwavering dedication to her craft: BAMF.

Julie Andrews just turned 77 on Monday. 77 YEARS OLD. And think about everything she's done in those incredible 77 years: Maria von Trapp, Millie Dillmount, Guenevere, Eliza Doolittle, MARY FREAKING POPPINS, Queen Clarisse Renaldi, Victoria Grant... Basically the woman who defined our childhood just turned 77. If that's not a sign of being a BAMF, I don't know what is.

Angela Lansbury. This woman is crazy for many reasons, but let's just focus on the fact that she's practically old as dirt and is still kicking and taking acting roles like she's half her age. She's so spry after her 87 year life span that it's hard to believe she's as old as she is. Seriously, Mrs. Potts can't be 87. The awesome lady that originated Mrs. Lovett and Mame is totally not allowed to be that old. I've basically decided that she's never going to die. She'll live to be 200. And don't you tell me she can't, because if anyone can, it's the BAMF that is Angela freaking Lansbury.

Carol Burnett is the funniest woman to walk this planet. Fact. Don't try to argue. This is a fact that just is. I mean, if you listen to the OBC of Once Upon A Mattress, you'll be enlightened to this bit of knowledge yourself. Seriously, any woman who gets her own show because of her sketch comedy GENIUS and plays Jane Lynch's mother has GOT to be golden. Hard to believe this BAMF comedienne is 79.

Anyway, just thought I'd give a shout-out to the women who have been inspiring me lately. Now, how do I incorporate these women into Guarding Gold Street...