I took a week off last week to focus on Guarding Gold Street, but now I'm back to this blog with guns a-blazin'! This time with a topic that us seniors know all too well: what we're going to do when we graduate. I suppose that is, in fact, the entire point of this Senior Capstone class, is getting us to figure out exactly what we want our next step in life to be, since this is one of the great transitions of our lives. And I think it's fantastic that we all have so many options open to us. But it recently just hit me how overwhelming it can be to have too many possibilities.
Take for instance my personal situation. During the school year, I'll do as many auditions as possible, such as Disney and cruise ship auditions, I'll be going to SETC in the spring, and I'll be sending off my head shot and resume to as many casting directors as I possibly can in the coming months, especially to those in the areas that I'm looking at relocating to. Then, if nothing comes of any of those auditions, I have the choice to either move to LA and live with my parents for a while to find a job and save money (which is never a bad idea, and since I get along so well with my parents it would probably not be as horrible of a situation for me as others would consider it), or move to Washington DC to stay with my aunt and essentially do the same thing there. DC would be my number one choice of any of these routes, but then the obvious questions of money and moving come up.
Which begs the question: are any of these routes even viable?
When you have so many potential routes, it's nearly impossible to tell which one is actually right for you. Or if there's anything else waiting in the wings to make itself noticeable when the time is most opportune. I think we're all stuck right now in this awkward, limbo phase of waiting for audition season, waiting for news of anything, waiting to find out what our next step is. And instead of finding solace in all these potential roads, I'm just finding myself more and more overwhelmed by the fact that any one of these paths could be the right one for me, but I just can't know that right now. I suppose a lot of it is wanting to control my destiny, as cheesy as it sounds, but in many ways, that's exactly what is going on. This is just another constant reminder that we are not always in control of our lives. We have to learn to let go and live in the moment sometimes. This is something I think I'll always struggle with, but it's nice to know that life forces you to learn these lessons, whether you're ready to hear them and learn from them or not. Life doesn't wait for you to be ready. And that's both frightening and liberating.
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