I think this week's big revelation has just been that if I apply myself to something, I've found I can actually get it done in a timely fashion. This is actually a bigger struggle for me than I think people realize, because I'm extremely lazy. If given the choice to get up and get some work done or to stay in bed and watch Netflix, I'll usually choose the latter. That was okay for the first three years of college (okay, it actually wasn't okay then either, but I could get away with it much easier), but this year I'm leaving. I have to actively search for auditions and get my school work done and memorize memorize memorize and really focus on attaining any sort of goal for after graduation. I can't afford to be lazy anymore. I realize that I have a pretty firm grasp on who I am right now, and when I leave this place, that is probably going to change in radical ways. I'll be more confused than ever. So getting used to working hard now is going to only increase my chances of getting up on my feet after May 5 and on my way to rediscovering who I am.
I've already been making some strides toward getting more focused and applying myself, and I don't know why, but I'm always shocked when it works. The more I force myself off tumblr (life-sucker) and facebook and the more I actually do my work, the prouder I am of myself and what I accomplish. The stronger this skill gets, the more chance I have of being successful, at least marginally, in this career choice.
Oh, life. Why must you be so difficult?
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